Jealousy In Lock Down
We're all feeling it, in different ways for different reasons. Our senses are heightened by our fears, the things that are out of our control & the green eyed monster looking at how other people are perceived to be living. Its created a wave of hating on other women instead of empowering & supporting them. No wonder women are feeling the pressure, juggling an insane amount of "stuff" & considering everything around us is literally life or death, everyone is on tender hooks. The emotions that women are feeling can just hit you in waves & knock you off your feet, so its important that while you want to carry on & lead a relatively normal life, as much as you can in lock down, that you also take extra care of yourself & part of that is switching off from the world around you & not being hoodwinked into shaming women who don't have your life style. Now more than ever we need to stand together, not get angry because we feel we are struggling more than someone else.
I've seen so much positivity & kindness during this lock down, its brought a tear to my eye, the generosity has been overwhelming, people really are incredible but I've also witnessed a lot of shaming women for their life style & I think its totally uncool. I've been speaking to women who are finding their home life unbearable whilst watching friends online living their best life. Women who are struggling with their children while other women are posting about breakfast in bed. Women who feel trapped in their homes whilst other people seem to have so much freedom. It's true that although we are sailing the same uncharted storm we are all in completely different boats & some of us seem to be struggling more than others. But don't be fooled or drawn in by what you see on social media. Although there's a lot of good stuff out there, its also a place for egos to be stroked, hate to be spread & lies to be told. Don't be apart of it by bashing those who are in a different situation to you.
We need less judgement & more understanding. The truth is we'll never fully know what another person is dealing with & that's normal because a person deserves their privacy. It's worth remembering that everyone is fighting their own battle & just because they don't choose to share it doesn't mean they aren't struggling too. I've got clients who are suffering because of how low their family income is & get upset at what others appear to have and I've got clients who earn thousands a month & get upset they haven't a family to call their own. Believe me we all have something another people want & I think lock down has highlighted it for everyone. What's important is how you deal with it. Be happy for others, celebrate their wins, bring good karma to your door.
Its been very really sad to hear from 7 women just last week who are devastated they can't have children, they have chosen to unfollow friends posting about their kids all the time because it reminds them of what they will never have. They have done the right thing by giving themselves a break from it, as they are grieving & that's okay. They don't spread emotionally loaded posts saying us mum's don't know how lucky we are, they just quietly heal while not effecting others. I spoke to one client yesterday who is single & can do as she pleases, or so you would think. Shes been so upset seeing all the posts about how easy women have it without kids! Its just simply not true, they have also got their own huge set of worries & stresses so Just STOP!
This morning I had a coaching call with another lovely client who feels like she is a bad mother because she's not mastered becoming the best teacher in the world, while juggling her mental health, her weight, her not so helpful husband & a full time job! When I asked her what triggered it she had seen friends repeatably posted about how productive their days are, how they can still fit in their jeans from when they were 10! (slight exaggeration) & how life is perfect. How the way I see it is like this, you can't stop people posting about sections of their life they are happy for you to know about & in all honesty its your choice to look. Its not fair to judge people who are doing well, be happy for them. If they are really bothering you what you can do is acknowledge it's triggered something in you & work on it. While you do that, if following them is doing you more harm than good you know where the unfriend, unfollow, mute & snooze button is, click it & give yourself some head space.
You really have to be careful not to start hating on people who appear to be having it easier than you. I've seen so many posts on social media bashing women for one reason or another. Suggesting women who don't have children have the life of Riley & lounge around all day without a care in the world & women who are homeschooling should be like a super human robot & run a tight ship at home or they aren't a good enough mother. Its all so wrong & people shouldn't be sharing posts of this type. One, you're judging women on something that's probably not true & Two, feeling jealous towards other people who have done you no harm is not going to help your situation. Like I said before the best thing to do in these difficult times is, if what you are seeing isn't inspiring you then unfollow for now, snooze them for 30 days, but don't slate other people for not being in the same boat as you.
What you really need to be doing is filling your days with things that make you feel motivated, thing's that lift your spirits, do things that reduce your anxiety & support your wellbeing. So make a plan, get involved with groups of women who are in a similar position to you, try some meditations, think about little acts of self care you can indulge in & don't go a day without getting outside for some fresh air. My advice is hug a tree, yes i really do mean it. I know it sounds a bit crazy but they really do have the most amazing fresh energy, you don't need to keep your distance from them (bonus) & they will ground your energy. So at least give it a try while no-one is looking. But on a serious note please don't waste your time & energy on things that don't concern you. You'll feel much better for it if you let it all go & focus on you. Focus on what really matters & use this time in lock down wisely because its not going to come again. So remember if you're struggling with your situation right now it's totally normal, you're not on your own, so please reach out to me or someone you trust. If you are loving this time in lock down & its given you exactly what you need i'm so pleased for you, keep sharing, stay positive & don't let anybody dim your light.
My final thought, show appreciation for other women in your posts or don't mention them at all.
Suzanne Prince | The Identity Queen
Please leave a comment below and share on social media x